THE DRILL: One way to become a better writer/artist

9:51:00 AM

How to become a better writer

One of the worse things you can do for creativity is becoming a proper adult. That is what I keep  telling myself.
I'm not ashamed, not at all, I don't need get my adult in charge batch. I got my shit together, when I can find it, somewhere underneath the big mess in my room.
One of the strange things in this life, that once you reach adulthood, and can do whatever you want,  you start following these invented rules, desperately trying to project this image of a person who slays. 
Meanwhile in real life everybody feels like a fraud. Even those making millions, getting all the followers, the ones things are " being offered to."
You put on heels, your Sasha fierce costume, buy the bag, or the car, we take meetings and do interviews, or drive home with our new baby, thinking that other people have a better handle on things.
Get over it. Trust me, they do not.

I grew up with a father and grandmother, who didn't always put on their big-boy and girl pants. My mother died, and they retreated, my father to Italy, my grandmother into a bottle. They couldn't function or parent for a while and seeing how lost and confused they were, more than me almost, they stopped being the impenetrable adults to observe and learn from.
Not the easiest childhood, that's for sure, but them lacking problem solving skills was freeing for me.  Wise for my age, this became my mantra. Grown ups, it's a facade. They have no clue what they are doing here!
Sometimes I forget. I look around and see people my age and feel alienated, like everybody knows something I don't, having the same feeling I imagine I would have experienced as kid with 'normal parents'.
How do they do that? But also a lot: why would they do that?

If I am wrong about you, and you know what you are doing at all times, you may think I am an immature weirdo.
But I do change. A lot. When you grow up like that, with parents you can't always depend on, you learn to adapt and change. Still being a kid in my head, I am very noisy, let's say curious, and change comes naturally when learning stuff. ( the old saying that your mind never snaps back, once you learn something).

It is the difference between: knowing how things supposed to work( yikes)
and asking why things work a certain way.

And in my defense a lot of proper adults are very childish. The more you convince yourself you know everything, the faster you are sliding down to the narcissistic egomaniac pit ( that is a special place I  hope exists for those special someones, who just don't care about anyone else other then themselves, it's sticky, utterly boring and smells like feet).

One of the things I find hard about getting older is that your options expand. A fast way to feel like a great parent is teling your child it can do anything, become ANYONE. Sorry to bust your bubble, but that is the second worst thing to say. The first is off course: you will never amount to anything.
You are a proper adult, you are supporting a child, lifting it up to the sky, offering it the world. It is important for children to see possibilities and get opportunities. But. My father, who even if he was heartbroken for a while was an awesome father, used to say, you are intelligent, you have been given that so you could use it. That motivated me, still does. But being offered the whole world, feeling that kick in the butt: go and find your passion, anything, because you can do anything, can be horrible. Too much man. Paralyzing. 
The genius of youth is that possibilities are still limited, you learn to make the most of it. You become inventive. Can't buy a six pack, asks somebody else to do it. Have to go to school, learn how to forge a signature. Just kidding, but you get the drift, kids can get creative when they want something. They have imagination, annoyingly strong willpower, and boundless energy When they see a barricade blocking a goal, they find ways around it. And that builds confidence. 
Look at somebody as Misty Copeland being told that she had the wrong body, we all know what it is code for, it only sparked her fire. Made her committed and fierce.
NO is a very motivating word.
That is why when we get older, we lose some of our spark. Not enough NO. Too much choice. Good luck with that.

This week I listened to Rookie magazine first podcast with Tavi Gavinson. At the end a young girl asked what she should choose, studying science or being an artist. She wanted to be an artist, but her parents said there was no money in it. You will have to listen for yourself for the brilliant answer.
I would tell her, you have the curiosity to ask that question, so use that curiosity to find the answer. And If I would tell you that you are not the right type to become a scientist or a artist, which one makes you angrier, or sadder. That's the one you want to be.
But if you want to become an artist, please don't worry about becoming a grown up.
A scientist and an artist both start the same way, looking for answers. The difference is that once a scientist finds it, and more scientist concur it becomes fact, and they can defend it with certainty.
An artist, a writer in my case, will never arrive at fact, and artist just keeps asking question that leads to more questions. Not knowing is the basis for being an artist.
This is damn hard 'cause we all want to know, have control, slay the shit out of life.
But once you do that it will pin you down.

Don't worry it is just a mental thing.You can still have a proper house, a proper car, a proper family and a kickass shoe closet. But your mind better stay clueless and open.

In the rest of the Rookie podcast  Tavi interviews Ella O'Connor or Lorde.  Writers love to hang out with other writers, it is motivating hearing how other writers work. The chat between two friends on Ella's writing process, color coding songs, being able to write only in New York, putting imagery into words and melody, gets nerdy and awesome really fast. Loved it.

PS. I am enjoying the last season of Girls a lot. I especially like how one incredible writer ( Lena herself) comes up with these monster novelists, Matthew Rhys ( The director of American Bitch talks about that bottle episode here) and Tracy Ullman were both amazing. Oh, and this weeks Nerdist podcast with Allison Williams was extremely entertaining, Chris and Allison dive right into all the important stuff: sex, death, the news and foot fetishes.

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