For all the folks that complained that Twin Peaks The Return was too much Dougie and not enough pure Twin Peaks, wake up, it's  Christmas morning! I really didn't expect it to, but Mark Frost's the Final Dossier answers all your questions and then some.
The first thing that you will notice when reading it, and I highly recommend you buy it, it's damn funny.
It starts with an autopsy report for Leo Johnson, yes I am sad to say your favorite character is dead-just kidding, but in the immortal words: he's dead. The report is written by our dear Albert Rosenfield and offers gems like: 'A canine shock collar on the floor nearby, sized for a Saint Bernard. Nice: Leo must have bend a first-rate slipper fetcher.'
This is the only piece in the dossier written by Albert, the rest is laid down meticulously by field agent Blue Rose Task Force Tamara Preston, and she is as earnest, brimming with high morals as an excellent FBI agent should be. Tammy the archivist has compiled a straightforward -can you believe it, when was Twin Peaks ever straightforward, list of what happened to every one of our Twin Peaks faves.
What is even more astonishing, seeing that Tammy is part of the Blue Rose team, is that the detailed life stories, do not contain any super natural explanations. * Yes it was still coming, but I have to say, it is still on the light side.
 By example when describing Annie's fate, yes, you read that right, it is revealed, she doesn't fill in where Cooper, Windom and Annie disappeared to, that faithful night of the Miss Twin Peaks contest. No Black Lodge, only hours strangely unaccounted for. In the last chapters Tammy finally gets to the Black Lodge, Double Coop, the appearance of Diane, etc. but reluctantly so, still keeping a level head, the only concept she is really into seems to be the Tulpa she and Albert shot.
For all of you whose head is still spinning, this is the ultimate tale, and as much a sequel as the Return was of the original Twin Peaks.

It is an awesome book, and not only because it is chock full with revelations. I loved the style, the humor and the soapy intrigue.

Frost goes all out. If we ever got another season, they would have to explore all new territory, because most story lines get closure.
And the brilliance of it, that it explains almost everything, up to chapter 18, and then well...we are screwed.

Here are my favorite reveals, needless to say SPOILER ALERT!!!


1. Lana Budding Milford, our black widow, briefly dated Donald Trump. I am not kidding. Her strange hold on men, the link with the jade ring, the trail of death and destruction we get her entire trashy femme fatale story. Only one question remains: what influence did she have on the Tweeter in Chief?

2. Annie is still alive. And unfortunately that is not a good thing for her. Her current fate is tragic and heartbreaking.

3. Cooper had an intense relationship with his mother, and Tammy intuits this is what fueled his 'white knight' syndrome.

A little aside, it is quite refreshing to see the stories reflected through Tammy's and I guess Frost strong moral core. It's quite different from the show, where confusion, shock and ambiguity are used by Lynch to drive the story, and the viewer insane. The show is the Black Lodge and the book is the White.


4. Vivian Smythe Niles is not Norma's real mother, and man, what a piece of work she was. The tale of Vivian, Norma also explains where Annie came from and why she is so troubled.

5. Audrey did marry her accountant. Now I've seen articles that said: finally we know what happened to Audrey. I've read Audrey's chapter and if there isn't more coming later on in the book, we still know nothing. The accountant is never named as Charlie. As I said Tammy skips the supernatural stuff, at a certain point Audrey is not seen anymore, she might be agoraphobic or in care facility. But that is all Tammy knows, and that is not enough to be definitive. So Audrey and episode 18 is still a mystery.

6. Donna became a successful  model. In the end it didn't work out, but after all the mayhem Ben Horne caused in the Hayward family by revealing he is Donna's father, Donna and Doc Hayward, (you are my real father), get their happy ending.

7 Shelly and Bobby know each other from kindergarten. Awww.

8. Leo Johnson didn't die from a tarantula bite. In Albert's words: 'They are not venomous, dips hit.

9. Jacoby toured with the Grateful Dead.

10. It seems William Hastings and Ruth Davenport hacked the FBI servers ( leading to a ton of questions, come no way Chief?Gordon Cole didn't know.)

11. The place Cooper and Diane disappeared to, underneath the Grand Northern is referred by Tammy as the Grand Central Station, the place where all the portals to other dimensions come together!!

12. Sara Palmer is the frog moth girl.

13. Laura Palmer didn't die.

What was your favorite reveal?